Susan's vows

I, Susan Payette, take you, Don Osterwald, to be my gnarly ocean barnacle, my partner at sea, and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I vow to stay with you, through storms and high seas, though our mast might break, or salt water leak into our bed. I promise never to make you swab the deck unless you deserve it, and to let you clean out the head whenever you want to. Through it all, I will love you, honor you, and obey you when it suits my needs—and do my own thing whenever I feel like it. I won’t get angry that you have two Tauruses and only one of me, and I swear never to flush the toilet while you are in the shower. Doug, I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, my liver, my gall bladder, my left eye, and my love, from this day forward, for as long as we both shall live.