Dan's vows

I, Dick Osbold, take you, Susan Payette, to be my buxom sea lassie, my partner in life, and my one true love. I vow to be yours, in times of plenty and in times of want, in times of sickness and in times of health, in times of joy and in times of sorrow. I will love you when our decks are full of treasure, and when the rats have eaten the last crumb from our hold. I will cherish you even if you swell up with scurvy, or if your skin peels off in the scorching sun. I promise to stay by your side through renovations, redecorations, and multiple flagellations—even if it kills me. I vow never to get angry with you, even though you spend most of your time in far-off cities with strapping young football players instead of with me. In other words, I promise to cherish and respect you, to care for you and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, to allow you into my flight simulator whenever you want, and to stay with you, for all eternity.