Sometimes Momma's gotta take a break...

Two weeks ago now, I set off on my own for a mommy-vacation. I was pretty much drained, psychologically and emotionally. Derek had been in and out of town for six weeks because he was working in Ottawa. I handled it much better than I thought I would, but by the end of it, I was tired. Spending three evenings a week just with the kids was, apparently, exhausting.

So for the first time since Maïa was born, I left the kids for more than one night (and that night was in November because I had meetings in Ottawa). I am learning to ask for what I need. PPD taught me that much. It's a hard lesson, though. I think most moms don't ask for the time off that they need, mostly because we feel guilty. Guilty that it means that we don't like our role as mother. Guilty that someone else has to step up and do the duties for a little while. Guilty that we can't handle it like our moms seem to have done so well. Guilty that other moms seem to be handling it so well.

But I ditched the guilt (guiltily) and set off. I wanted to be bored. I wanted to miss my kids. I wanted... a little change.

I went to Ottawa to stay with my mom for five days, sans enfants. I visited the Emily Carr exhibit with my mom at the National Gallery. I had dinner with an old university friend. I went to the beach, alone, and actually read a book, without stopping every 40 seconds. I went shopping for clothes and didn't have to think about where the closest bathroom was in case of emergency or that it was nearing nap time or that someone was going to get bored and that we would have to leave before I tried anything on. I even got a little bored, just enough. And I missed my girls. I had time to miss them.

The biggest treat of the week, though, was getting together with my girlfriends from high school. There's a group of six of us, but two of the group were in Europe at the time (this is actually a common occurrence among the group: someone can't make the get-together because she's on another continent...). So four of us got together and decided to do a sleep-over, "old school." We watched movies, ate too much, did facials and pedicures, and talked until 4am. The last time I did this with them was literally ten years ago... girls, let's not wait another ten years to do this, okay?