As I peer back over the three and a half short years since we became parents, the moments that I remember best (or recall at all) are the magic ones. They are not always good, mind you, but they are always magic. Like Maïa's birth and her 48 hours in special care, when we thought that she may have to stay for a week, while I would be released after only three days. That very first memory of parenthood is filled with fear, confusion, and magic. The magic is in what I have learned from it; how different I am now from who I was then; in the quality of the lighting, of my heart, of my relationship to Derek, to my family, to the entire universe, and to God. The magic lies, too, in my ability to look at the memory and hold it like a fragile bauble, but not to cry in its recollection.
I hope everyday that the magic of time and memory, and how it colours our lives, will not lose its touch. For I feel sometimes overwhelmed with mundanities. Like, will Maïa ever jump into that pool willingly, or will we have to drag her to swimming lessons every week? Perhaps time will colour that one, too, and make it funny because Maïa is a champion diver or simply because she loves to sit in the bath for hours at a time. Or I wonder if changing diapers will ever have the colour of magic? Will I fondly recall my times, countless now, at the change table with my girls? Or will those memories, of the pool, of the diapers, simply fade away into the mire of time and fuzziness?
It seems our lives are divided up into those two categories, and we live in the present, where the sorting occurs, of the magic and the mundanity.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
:-)
Hmmm, how can you call the moments at the diaper changing table 'mundane'? One of my first great memories of motherhood is seeing Rubby's stunned Samantha projectile poop on him in the middle of the night. Of course I got it back when I had to deal with an up the back diaper explosion at the doctors office where there was no change table and no cleanup hose. Then there is the ever so fun "what's it's colour" game... mustard yellow, goose poop green, red (??!! oh ya, beets again). Consistancy... corn nuggets, peas, carrots, and "Oh honey, I think she's been eating ladybugs again!" And finally of course, there's the smell factor... "whoa! Honey come here, you gotta smell THIS one!"
;-)
Post a Comment